I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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