I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
