Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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