I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
