I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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