90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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