people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
