The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
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I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
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Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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