sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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