They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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