my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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