Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
