It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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