Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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