My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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