It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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