is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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