I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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