its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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