end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
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I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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