Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize