yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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