I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
