I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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