you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize