do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize