she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
