I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
