can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he thought i was a dude.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
two words...techno handjob
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
