high people should be assigned attendants
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
