She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
