That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
