how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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