oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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