I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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