at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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