He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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