apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
