East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
