Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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