note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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