jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
