how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
