He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
