i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
no, he came in my armpit
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
