We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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