I want to walk on stilts...naked
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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