he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
