i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize