If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
