so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
