so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
