i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
