If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
