saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize