Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize