When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
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New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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