My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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